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Managing Difficulties
Common Issues for Survivors
Men dealing with the effects of childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault There is no prescribed way that people are affected by sexual abuse or sexual assault; everyone is different. However, we do know sexual violence can have profound effects…
Dealing with the Effects of Abuse
The impacts of child sexual abuse can be complex and severe. While it is not always the case, it is common that a man who has experienced child sexual abuse will experience a range of negative effects many years after the…
Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts
Sometimes people come to our website because they are looking for personal help. If someone asked you right now if you are having thoughts of suicide, what would your honest answer be? If your answer is ‘yes’, this is undoubtedly…
Dealing with Flashbacks
Safety notice: If you have experienced any kind of trauma or sexual abuse flashbacks in the past, please take care while reading this page. Some examples may be triggering or confronting. Introduction Flashbacks can hit like lightning. Many men who have…
Dealing with Nightmares
It is not unusual for men to experience trouble sleeping and have nightmares following child sexual abuse or sexual assault. The trouble with nightmares is that they can not only be unsettling in and of themselves, but can bring back…
Dealing with Anger
Anger is a common and healthy emotion. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry. Anger can be evoked in a variety of situations, at home, at work, with friends or someone you’ve just met. The degree of anger can vary…
Dealing with Relationship Challenges
Dealing with relationship challenges after a partner’s experience of sexual abuse At Tautoko Tāne we recognise that there is not a lot of information and support out there for partners of men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse or sexual…
Developing Intimacy in Relationships
Intimacy is a sense of closeness or togetherness shared with another person that can take some time and work to establish in a relationship. For men who have experienced child sexual abuse or sexual assault, like many men, becoming comfortable…
Being a Man
Gender – that is, identifying as a man, a woman, or non-binary – is a significant aspect of our personal identity. Gender plays a large part in how we live our lives and make sense of who we are. It…
Helping a Man at Risk of Suicide
It is distressing to realise that someone close to you may be considering suicide. The below information will help you in helping someone with suicidal thoughts; to identify signs to look for, decide what to do and learn what help is…
Disclosure of Abuse
Under-reporting of child sexual abuse or sexual assault One of the difficulties in establishing a picture of the extent and circumstances of childhood sexual abuse and male sexual assault is under-reporting. Males are particularly reluctant to report childhood sexual abuse…
Sexual Assault and Arousal
Developing an erection or ejaculating during a sexually abusive experience can be one of the most confusing and distressing aspects of sexual abuse for men and boys. This page deals with the issue of male sexual assault and arousal. In…