Coming In From The Cold

26 New Zealand male survivors share their personal stories of sexual abuse

In a new publication that records the last 10 years in the development of Tautoko Tāne Aotearoa, you will read the stories of 26 Tautoko Tāne staff and clients who have generously shared their survivor experiences to raise awareness of the impacts of sexual violence and to support the important work of the only national network in New Zealand that is dedicated to enabling the wellbeing of male survivors.

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Aaron Smale: An apology both sincere and hollow

For me the most powerful words were virtually unintelligible. Gary Williams is severely disabled and in a wheelchair, but that did not limit the power of his words, which were flashed up on a screen behind him. He was the first survivor to speak at the event. He spoke directly to the Government and you could feel the words resonating in thousands of hearts.

“Your words will never be enough for survivors, we’ve had decades of hearing words like that,” he said, in response to an apology from the heads of government agencies.

“There is a long way to go before changes can put it right, and I just want to say we can’t wait until next year because people are dying every day without any kind of restitution.”

Gary’s vulnerability was so clearly evident but he truly did speak for so many. I really felt it when I realised he was from the same hapū as my whānau.

I hope this doesn’t sound patronising but I was so proud of survivors yesterday and they can take pride in the ways they have fought for this day and what follows. Given the chance to be heard, they were something to behold. They always are. But on this, the biggest and most significant stage, they conducted themselves with such immense dignity and their words were so powerful.  Yes, there were moments of intense anger and that was expressed.  But it was absolutely justified.

Speeches from survivors Fete, Keith and Tu brought the house down. They are worth a moment of slow reflective reading.

The apology from not only the Prime Minister but also the Leader of the Opposition needed to address four broad areas – first, the scale and seriousness of the abuse itself; accountability for those who not only perpetrated the abuse but those who covered it up in order to protect the Crown from legal and financial liability; redress for victims; and prevention of it happening again.

Christopher Luxon’s apology was both sincere and hollow. As far as I could tell, the apology was sincere from Christopher Luxon the person. I’m sure he meant it, because anyone reading even a fraction of the Royal Commission’s report or engaging directly with victims would have to lack a pulse to not be affected.

But the apology from Christopher Luxon the Prime Minister hollowed out that personal sincerity, for reasons I’ll come to.

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